Imaginary London: Approaches by air to South London
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| image generated by Craiyon |
The Mayblush is one of the four London winds. The other three are the Beamer, the Ragsail, and the Nersha, all of which carry with them pros and cons, though none affects aviation so much as the Mayblush that rises during the Summer, and is credited with putting the pink in the apples.
The Mayblush column is not an entirely natural phenomenon. It is caused by a descending aircraft interacting with localised weather fronts. Rose describes it as “quicksand at 2000 feet”. Once caught, it is impossible for a plane to land safely at Heathrow. Pilots are instead instructed to make for “the lull” at Mitcham Mills Airport in South London – formerly an aerodrome called Greenroost – now an emergency runway, surrounded by a nature reserve, capable of accommodating the largest jets. It is used on average 7 times a year, mostly during the months of June and August.
“The high temperatures pushed that number past 13, in 2022,” says Rose.
She presses a button on a small remote to bring up the next image – a remarkably phallic-looking windsock pointing almost straight up, that elicits a tremor of laughter from the room.
“We easily can tell when the Mayblush is on the rise from a special kind of windsock called a Manning Pointer, named after its inventor, Sir Christopher Manning,” she says. “As some of you have already deduced from the photograph, there is a reason why a lot people refer to them as 'wind cocks.'”
More laughter.
“When a Manning Pointer begins to rise vertically, ground support will be aware that the Mayblush is in the ascendency and that there is the potential for a column to form,” says Rose. “That applies even when there is no obvious wind at ground level. Other things we look for are flocks of birds that have been pulled down to earth by a Mayblush Column. They often end up on the roof of the Sainsbury's in Tooting, looking rather baffled. The manager there has an emergency line to the Air Traffic Control. We also have access to cameras nearby.
“Now, once you know that you are in a column and have been authorised to make an emergency landing, there are definitive steps that you need to take to reach Mitcham Mills. You can't take a run at it freehand. If you follow an unlined approach, you will most-likely end up in the vicinity of the A217, or, in a worse case scenario, nose-first in the Millward Spoil.
“There used to be actual grid that was inlaid over London, like the grid in the London A-Z. It was set in place after the war and you could see it from the air. They did it to make unban planning and redevelopment easier, but the people who benefited the most from it were pilots and their passengers.
“The Metropolitan Board of Works used to reline it every five years. At the end of the 1990s it was allowed to go fallow. You can still see parts of it here and there, but you can't rely on it as reference anymore and you shouldn't try, as it is easy to mistake other things for part of the grid.
More laughter.
“When a Manning Pointer begins to rise vertically, ground support will be aware that the Mayblush is in the ascendency and that there is the potential for a column to form,” says Rose. “That applies even when there is no obvious wind at ground level. Other things we look for are flocks of birds that have been pulled down to earth by a Mayblush Column. They often end up on the roof of the Sainsbury's in Tooting, looking rather baffled. The manager there has an emergency line to the Air Traffic Control. We also have access to cameras nearby.
“Now, once you know that you are in a column and have been authorised to make an emergency landing, there are definitive steps that you need to take to reach Mitcham Mills. You can't take a run at it freehand. If you follow an unlined approach, you will most-likely end up in the vicinity of the A217, or, in a worse case scenario, nose-first in the Millward Spoil.
“There used to be actual grid that was inlaid over London, like the grid in the London A-Z. It was set in place after the war and you could see it from the air. They did it to make unban planning and redevelopment easier, but the people who benefited the most from it were pilots and their passengers.
“The Metropolitan Board of Works used to reline it every five years. At the end of the 1990s it was allowed to go fallow. You can still see parts of it here and there, but you can't rely on it as reference anymore and you shouldn't try, as it is easy to mistake other things for part of the grid.
“The first thing you do when you feel the column pulling you off the flightpath, is you steer longish. You go out and low, following the grain of the airflow. There's an emergency air corridor that they keep clear, so you don't have to worry about other aircraft. There's a lot of cheap homes along that way if you are looking to get a foot on the London property ladder.
“You need to be aiming to make a headline turn. You'll struggle to do it to begin with. The further out you go, the easier it will be. When possible, align the aircraft so that you are facing London north – that's landmark north, then fly the headline. Make a small adjustment to your course when you see the stone cross on the steeple of St Fiacre's, so you are flying elegised north-east towards it. That will put you on the starter path which is an arcing string of prominent landmarks that will guide you into Mitcham Mills.
“You will know if you are on course when your hear the London Cannonade – that's three loud bangs, separated by just under a second. ONE... TWO... THREE. You are going to feel them too, through the superstructure of the aircraft but it's nothing to worry about. It's the sonic profile of your engines echoing off the London geology. The first time you experience it, it's alarming, even when you know what's causing it. British fighter planes, in World War II, commonly mistook it for misdirected anti-aircraft fire. You do need to remember to warn your passengers about it in advance. If you don't hear it, then it means that you're off on the approach and you should go back around.
“Afterwards you are going to see the mill chain along the Wandle River. Nearby, you'll see the old freight railways that formerly served the mills. The railways along this stretch are owned by the Civil Aviation Authority and have been designated protected air navigation marks. The rails are painted white so you can see them easily from the air.
“Back in the old days, the steam trains would depart for the Capital from quarries in the far reaches of the country, early in the morning. By the time they pulled into London they were dragging the rain and the sleet in with them. You had rain from all over the United Kingdom converging on the city. That's why my Great Grand-Mum didn't like the railways. You won't have to worry about any of that. The steam trains are all gone and they've taken the bad weather with them.
“Another fixed landmark you'll see is the Midland Diamond. It's literally a diamond shape, like on a playing card, only white, in the middle of a field. It was put there by the Midland Coal Company. There used to be a slogan across the front of it – 'Midland coal makes Britain shine' – Something like that.”
“By now you will be so low that you won't see the runway until you are almost on top of it. What you will see is the shadow of the horse statue on top of the old Dauda Adhesives and Bondings Plant. It's all flats now. Anytime there is a Mayblush Column there will be bright sunshine, so you'll be able to see it clearly on the grass ahead of you. That horse is your spirit animal. You line yourself up with it and you let it lead you in.
“If all that seems like a lot to take in, we will be trying it in the simulator.”
Following her lecture, Rose fields a few questions from the class. A young man asks whether the Mayblush Column is ever a problem for planes leaving the airport:
“There are only two documented cases of departing aircraft getting caught up in it,” says Rose. “In both cases, the aircraft lost altitude shortly before it happened. But it's the same principle. You don't try to fight your way out of it. You clear yourself for an emergency landing and you follow the same procedure.”
A woman at the back of the room enquires how many lives have been saved by the emergency airport.
“I would imagine thousands,” says Rose.
~
A couple of hours later, we hitch a ride on a baggage trolley into the desolate hinterlands of Heathrow Airport – a featureless concrete desert that functions as a buffer zone separating the runways from the rest of London.
“It's a proper casserole up there today,” says Rose, as she observe the jet trails of a swarm of planes aerially stewing in holding patterns under the July heat.
“A tricky airport to arrive at,” I say.
“Oh, they all are in their own way. Once you get to know their quirks, its fairly straightforward. Do you know most pilots can't land or take off into the molten gold of the east at Heathrow? That's when the sun's just come up over the horizon. I know a pilot called Sifet who calls it 'the ether of godliness' – the way the sun pools in the faces of the distant buildings. It mutates into mirages. Pilots get drunk on it. Only really dull people with no imagination are allowed to fly in that direction at that time. You need the kind of mind that doggedly refuses to see patterns in things. There is actually a recognised qualification that the UK Civil Aviation Authority that will award you for being a boring bastard.
“I don't reckon you'll be passing that exam,” I say.
“Failed it three times,” says Rose. “Three chances is all you get.”
Her gaze alights on a windsock, standing in solitude by the high fence.
“A gainsayer,” she says. “A good wind for leaving.”
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| image generated by Craiyon |
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